Budgeting gets a bad rap as a giant drag. If you’re not someone who’s inherently organized, as I’m not, first thinking about the process feels like trying to corral the very air.

“Money? I don’t know, I just, you know, wing it.”

But winging it always left me uneasy. I’d think, “I must be overspending. But I want-this-need-this, so it’ll work out somehow.”

Now that we’re into this process, though, I can see that the emotional and financial drag came from that uncertainty — that feeling that my money was in control, not me.

None of what I’m saying is new. But as any of us who stumble on a discovery that is “new to me” know, that doesn’t make it any less meaningful.

So for now, I’m feeling positively buzzed about our budget. Perhaps unrealistically so. The other day, my husband was muttering about how our new entertainment budget is going to be hard to stick to — just $100 each per month — including any kid-centered outings.

(That was a fun conversation.)

Me: [Don't say it. Don't say it. Think of a different way to say it...crap.] “So that comes out of my money, then?”

Him: “Our money! Our money. But yes, that includes the kids.”

In April, we apparently spent $520 in this category. So he wasn’t kidding. But believe it or not, there is mental progress we’ve made that is going to make all the difference to eventual success. (To recap, after starting this blog last August, we went through a long process of tracking and cutting back on everyday expenses, boosting my income, and finally refinancing our house. Only now do we finally have some room in our budget to devote to paying off $16,000 in credit card debt — the next big step.)

In the old days, both of us would have chalked up dramatic overspending to a birthday, plus other miscellaneous expenses “that we normally don’t have.”

Now we know that there is no “normal.” There wasn’t before kids, and there definitely isn’t now. We are wiser to our ways.

We have a long way to go, and I expect to fail sometimes.

But as I’ve found over the past few months, having a hard-and-fast budget for grocery shopping and Target has been absolutely freeing. I follow the list. I’m in and out faster. I don’t fret. I don’t have any guilt hangovers.

As with so many things, it turns out that thinking about budgeting, or thinking about thinking about budgeting, is the worst part.

Also, money does not equal air, but setting its boundaries makes it easier to breathe.

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Tags:   Budgeting · money psychology4 Comments