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“I just spent $69 at Bead Monkey” was a sentence I never thought I’d utter.
My husband and I took delight in the fact that a) such a store existed and b) we couldn’t figure out why. I am not a crafty person. When a fellow preschool parent recently asked me, “What do you like to do in your spare time?” as in, knit, crochet, macrame, I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. Honestly? I read, or I write, or I watch TV or a movie. I have the occasional drink. Or conversation. And go to bed. I don’t paint, glue, or glitter gun. And I don’t wear jewelry. (I’m good at losing jewelry.)
I admire people who have crafty genes, but, at least until yesterday, I thought I had the good sense to steer clear of such endeavors.
But it turns out my son, who is 5 and, like me, not that into making art, really likes to string beads.
It was snowing, and very, very gray. As Prince once said, “Sometimes it snows in April.” But I could feel the stoic resolve with which one must face “spring” here getting as squishy as the slushy streets.
It was Tuesday. Which must truly be full of grace for someone.
The afternoon was dragging, and we were at loose ends.
“I know, guys, we’ll go get some beads!” I said.
Would you take your terrible-two toddler into a bead store? I don’t even have to describe the scene that then unfolded. As she grabbed tiny glass orbs out of every little bin she could reach on tiptoes, one of the clerks handed me a wooden box full of little plastic bags and a black Sharpie. “What in God’s name is this for?” I wondered. The thought that should have logically followed, “I should leave now because I don’t know what I’m doing and cannot shop here with a toddler,” got short-circuited en route in the grabbing, redirecting, and lurching to the back of the store toward the “kid friendly” $.15/gram bead bins.
“Okay,” I thought. “We’ll be out of here in a minute for $15-$20.”
Except if you don’t know from beads, you don’t realize until it’s to late how heavy those little suckers are.
At home, I was mortified, not only by what I’d spent, but by the fact that some of these beads are really quite delicate, and will chip and even break if you should, say, dump them onto a dinner plate. “These are like glass glass,” was I think all my brain could muster on the subject.
At dinner I confessed to my husband, who, seeing my face, kept asking, “Is something bothering you? Did something happen today?” Then I checked the receipt. “It doesn’t say, ‘All Sales Final,’ so maybe I could bring some back.”
After a week or so, when maybe they won’t recognize me.
But after having a shower, putting our little terror to bed, and downing my glass of vodka cranberry like a shot, my husband told me how happy my son was to string beads with him before bed.
So maybe I’ll keep the rest after all, and Bead Monkey and I can again part ways.
What’s your favorite ever impulse buy? Leave a comment with how much it cost, why you love it, and what made you buy it by March 15th and I’ll send the winner some … beads. Or a beaded creation. Oh dear.
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Good thing you’re not set on returning them. All the bags have been opened and the beads irreparably mixed. Cheers to the beads. I never thought I would be stringing them. Our son’s quote was: “I love beading.” Beading? One trip to Bead Monkey and he’s already got the lingo down.
I think the word MONKEY is the real problem. There’s a store near my house that sells nothing but rubber stamps. The store is called Rubber Monkey Love. I could never figure out how such a place actually managed to stay in business (especially in a fairly high-rent commercial area). Well, all you have to do is walk in, let the magic wash over you, and within seconds you can see your dollars floating into their cash register. It’s the damn Monkey!
As for your son’s love of beading. You should start to worry. Today it’s beading. Tomorrow it will become making friendship bracelets. After that, he’ll start to make tie-dyed shirts. And then, one day, you’ll find him in his room listening of the Grateful Dead. Nothing good can come of this. Beading is a gateway drug.
I laughed out loud throughout this whole post. I am still laughing. (see, isn’t that much more satisfying than the insulting LOL?)
thank you.
Um…$50 on a rock. It was a round polished rock, and quite like a large marble. Made of some sort of stone that had healing properties. I had just found out that a friend’s son was very, very sick and somehow the thought of a healing stone just made me very happy.
I’d love to see a picture of said rock! Can you do that in comments? Seems like that should be possible!
I can see that. “I want to go to there.”
My favorite EVER impulse buy was my Tassimo Coffee Machine. It’s been a little over a year and I still smile each morning when I walk (stagger) into the kitchen. I had seen the advertisment in a food & wine magazine when I was trying to find a recipe that my entire family (including chicken nuggets lover children) would eat. Turns out, there was nothing. But the coffee machine caught my eye. I was in the middle of a major house renovation and it was always freezing in here. I was exhausted from a toddler who never slept and my husband and I were sleeping in the living room since we didn’t have a bedroom anymore. By 1 or 2 each day I was dragging and cold and wanted a latte. My daughter was usually napping or the weather was brutal or no one wanted to get bundled up to go with me to Starbucks. Enter Tassimo. Best thing ever.
Oh, and by the way.. about 2 weeks ago I was in Michaels and they were doing this demonstration with their latest and greatest bead collection. The crystal shimmer caught my eye and I participated in the free “make it and take it” event. I’ve spent about 400 bucks on beads, crystals, tools, wire, stringing materials, charms, have already placed several online orders and check my email daily for a coupon from michaels so i can buy that really cool clasp for a bracelet. I have piles of books from the library on beading and did you KNOW they have a beading MAGAZINE? I had no idea.. and now I’m completely addicted. In fact, I made my 3 year old daughter a bracelet this morning (at 5:30AM) so it could match her outfit for her school pictures. Do you THINK that it will be seen in the photo? Doubtful… I’m obsessed…
Claudine
I’ve spent the morning flipping through a bunch of crafty mom blogs, so yours came as a relief. Although I will admit that in pre-computer days (yes I am that old) I did some crafty stuff, I relate more to your lifestyle. So just a comment–but PLEASE don’t send me beads!!
I swear I won’t!
And another comment to the bead obssessed–come to Tucson next February for the gigantic gem and mineral and fossil show. They have whole tents of beads–whole buildings full of beads–and people to show you what to do with them. (Excuse the suggestiveness.)
Well i think most of you know mine would be kids shoes.. or baby shoes.. I love all the cute little shoes.. I love Robeez, Pedipeds, Poodles, Etnies, Stride Rites, you name it if they are cute and cool they are must buy!! lol.. i won’t even tell you how many shoes my three boys have it’s not even funny..
Music is most often my impulse buy. iTunes plays such a great trick with the .99 song. It’s only a buck! I am also a sucker at cd stores, so only go in when I know I am weak. I do try to stick to the used section.
For your future bead purchases, just stick to the craft stores and buy the big bags of beads that won’t break when you poor them onto a plate or throw them across the room…
Last holiday shopping rush, I entered a SoHo store w/drop dead handbags on sale– models were practically fighting over them. I snagged a bronze leather beauty for $100, feeling guilty for buying myself a present when I was supposed to be shopping for others.
Turned out, bag was originally $800 — it makes me feel special every time I carry it…
“Craft stores,” you say?
Want to know where “hobby” beading can take you? Check out my friend Donna’s website at http://www.celtictreasuresjewelry.com/
Her designs have appeared in a number of catalogues and you can find her work in shops across the US. I think she even designed a piece for “Project Red” that Bono approved personally.
I feel your pain. I thought the clear fill-it-yourself bowl a friend gave me for Christmas about six years ago was the coolest thing on the planet. Someone suggested I ought to fill it with gourmet M&Ms, so that was the first place I headed on my New Year’s Eve shopping trip in Chicago. I had 12 slots, so I chose 12 exotic bins: midnight blue, neon pink, maroon, teal … special hues not just anybody can dump into a bowl. And since this store is a 6-hour round trip, I put at least two scoops into each bag to ensure I had enough to do the job. My best friend swears she will never forget my look of complete shock when that cash register spit out that gourmet price. (Let’s just say when my husband guessed $30, I agreed and prayed he’d never find out it was more than three times that much!) To add insult to injury, I had to llug nearly 12 pounds of M&Ms all over Michigan Avenue.
Hmmm…best ever was a pair of canvas shoes, striped, with daisies on them, and the daisies have little skulls in the center. They make me giggle, which isn’t so bad for $40.
Well, if I don’t count the scores of giant cookies and scones that doubled both as retail and chocolate therapy, probably my black fish net stockings that happened to be at the checkout when I was buying something much less sexy. They totally have spiced up my sex life, and every woman needs a little more of that.
Oops this one, “I want to go to there,” was aimed at TK.