My Groceries, Myself

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It’s January 5th, and by now I’m supposed to have vowed to transform myself 10 different ways in 2009. But I’m still processing the year that was and what I’ve learned. I got a good sense of that the other day in my old grocery store, which I visited for the first time in months, because of a short list and an even shorter shopping time limit.

(If you don’t know what I’m talking about, we switched to a much cheaper chain grocery months ago, because our food bill was killing us. As that’s about the only shopping I do, I’ve spent a good portion of this blog chronicling this chore.)

I felt the old allure as I trolled the tiny aisles, fondling the shiny, perfect produce in its fetching wooden displays. The fruit and vegetables in this store could appear in a Gourmet photo shoot, while that in the chain store, by comparison, slumps in its mammoth bins like kids in detention — scarred and faintly resigned.

I noticed one concession to the new economic environment — a sign that discreetly stated how much a peck of apples weighs, so that one might compute its actual price before picking it up. Whereas my chain store’s signs compete with each other in order for you to get the best bargain, the implicit assumption at the gourmet store is that you don’t need to ask.

I said a mental hello to the old cashier whose name I still know, and gleefully (yes, I do need to get out more) anticipated taking home two super sturdy paper bags that we covet for recycling. My chain store’s bags break if you look at them cross-eyed. Because this store has baggers, I savored being unmauled by other people’s carts at checkout, which invariably happens at the chain store as they maneuver into their own bagging lane. I noted how many more organic, fair trade, and local products I bought.

Still, it was the newly price-conscious me shopping, and like a girl who’s over an old flame, I’ve moved on.

I’ll make one concession to New Year’s ambitions and gauzy dreams beyond that. I haven’t reconciled the health and ethical considerations of food with the need to spend less on it. While I do feel good about how much we save at the chain store, I don’t about the fact that it’s cheaper because its mass-processed, unorganic, and most likely shipped thousands of miles. The more occasional trips to Trader Joe’s or the farmer’s market just aren’t cutting it. A co-op membership, CSAs, and maybe even growing vegetables of our own are all in the offing — but the safe prediction is that not all of those things are likely to occur this year.

Meantime, I do plan to at least buy the fantastic eggs from a friend with a local farm, Highview Pastures, as often as possible.

Resolved.