Cash Husband here:
While talking to my brother recently about the financial double-whammy of having kids (higher expenses, lower income), he politely reminded me: “You chose to have kids, you know.” Which raises a legitimate and important question: If kids are so expensive, why didn’t we have a better plan in place before we had them?
In a perfect world, we would have built up our savings to comfortably absorb the impact of two kids. We would have stockpiled diapers and formula from Costco. We would have known exactly how long it would take for Sara to return to her pre-baby income level. We also would have been in our mid 40s by the time all of this came to pass.
In reality, we wanted kids. Biologically, the time was right. And in this case, biology gets the nod over economics. We knew kids wouldn’t bankrupt us. We also knew we would be taking on short-term debt due to the aforementioned double-whammy. We chose the debt, because the alternative (having children 5 to 10 years later) was not realistic.
We continue to choose debt with our kids: Preschool. Swimming lessons. Photo sessions. Trips to visit the out-of-state grandparents. Are any of these essential to our children’s survival? No. In a bare bones budget, all of these things could go. But as a couple, we tend to look at the total value of each expenditure, not just its line-item cost.
The hard part is finding the balance between spartan living and freewheeling extravagance. We think we’re getting there, and this plan is helping us get there faster.
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Yah, but the electric jeeps for the kids was a little much don’t you think? And really, personal computers for toddlers? And, I hesitate to bring this one up, but personal trainers for each of the kids? Really?
I kid. I kid.
This is a very interesting point. Yes, we all choose to have kids, but our society makes it difficult to have more than one (hopefully a healthy one, one, with no problems or special needs) without saving up for 20 years. So we’re forced to assume the debt you speak of. We recently traveled back to Michigan over the holidays, even though financially we couldn’t strictly afford it. We felt that the value of time with relatives (some of whom our son hadn’t seen in two years) was — to paraphrase MasterCard — priceless.